Late-Night Comics Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Program

Television's top hosts used their airtime ridiculing former President Donald Trump's newly launched visa initiative, labeled the "Trump card," characterizing it as a clear cash-for-residency system for the rich.

The Late Show's Pointed Take

Kicking off his broadcast, Stephen Colbert offered a mock holiday jingle directed at the commander-in-chief. "He's compiling a list, checking it twice, before giving that list to the agents at ICE," he crooned. "Trump ... spoils everything he handles."

The focus was the new initiative that allows international individuals to acquire U.S. legal status for the price of a million dollars, with a "top-tier" tier for five million. A government page promises approval "in record time."

"One message here to wealthy foreigners: before you fork over the cash, what about Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He pointed out that the program is also intended to "get cash" from companies wishing to hire skilled workers, involving significant fees. "That is a lot of fees, however if you enroll, you additionally get a complimentary stay at a property of your choosing – provided that it's the that one hotel," he continued.

"The best screening the U.S. government has ever done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these applicants completely meet the standard to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert responded. "First question: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Commentary

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the visa program the "American Dream Express Card."

"It's a card that will allow wealthy foreigners to live here," he stated. "For a million dollars, you get legal resident status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one significant crime of your selection."

"It might be time to update that message on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your tired masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel teased the brevity of the form, saying it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Indeed, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "It's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Grocery Concerns

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's plunging poll numbers amid economic concerns. "The public gave Donald Trump a second term because they were angry about the economy," he said.

This week, in a bid to tackle affordability, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of food items, and reacted oddly to some cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"He's so incredibly weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by targeting conservative media coverage of Trump's financial performance. "Perhaps rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to what FIFA did," he joked.